Aruna wrapped in green pinkish sari gazes out from a window in a seaside hotel, feeling the faint breeze against her face. Her one hand is suspended on a grill, with other hand she is caressing her hairs that are fluttering in the way of cool breeze. Her eyes are shut, she is feeling the white sand warm between her bare toes although she is confined to her hotel room. The place is beautiful beyond belief, she can see ultramarine sea with roaring streams. Some bare-chested Foreign tourists are playing beach volleyball, jumping and screaming. Some local boys are diving into the sea.
These intermingling scenes can alleviate any pain but her grief thickens as she remembers the last time she had been here. A series of past events moves before her eyes.
She had married Vivek right here on this spot three years ago to the day. Dressed in a simple white dress, miniature white roses attempting to tame her long dark curls, Aruna had been happier than she had ever thought possible. Vivek was even less formal but utterly irresistible in creased summer trousers and a loose white cotton shirt. His dark hair slightly ruffled and his eyes full of adoration as his looked at his bride to be.
They tightly held their hands and laughed at the sheer joy of being young, in love and staying in a five-star resort on a seaside. They sat together on beach. They promised each other to be together forever. They planned their children, two she said, he said four so they compromised on three (two girls and a boy of course); where they would live, the traveling they would do together – it was all certain, so they had thought then.
But that seemed such a long time ago now. A lot can change in just a few years – a lot of heartache can change a person and can break even the strongest ties, break even the deepest love. Three years to the day and she has returned, though this time for revisiting those days and forget them forever.
Aruna leaves out a sigh that is filled with pain and regret. What can she do but move on, find a new life and new dreams? – the old one is beyond repair. How can this beautiful place, with its lush green coastline, eternity of azure blue sea and endless sands be a place for the agony she feels now?
Three years ago, it was the same beach where Vivek stood watching her from the edge of the palm trees. She was taking a bathe inside the sea. Vivek couldn’t take his eyes away of her. As a professional photographer Vivek had taken some great pictures of her. She was beautiful, with her slim figure dressed in a loose flowing cotton dress, her crazy hair and bright blue eyes not far off the colour of the sea itself. Although later Vivek had told her that it was her loneliness and intensity that attracted him. Vivek approached her when she had come out of the sea. They had few drinks at the bar. Amazingly within days of meeting they decided to marry each other.
Everything was dreamlike for Aruna for next 2 years. Things started to change when she was six months pregnant. She was the happiest she had ever been when the pains had started. At that time she was staying with her mother as Vivek was working out-of-town. He hadn’t made it back in last 4 months. As the date of delivery approaching, she was desperately waiting for him. She even tried to visit Vivek who was living in another town. But all it was in vain as she didn’t know the address of Vivek and his new adopted family. She never believed when her relatives told her that Vivek married another woman because of her wealth only. She was older than him and had two children with her previous marriage. She later came to know that Vivek was totally bankrupted and frustrated when he had left the town. Many creditors were after him.
Aruna could not believe this was the only reason. How could he left on this petty reasons. But all her longings for Vivek died down, when She didn’t hear anything about him even when she delivered a dead baby. She often remember her mother’s words ” Don’t ever believe a man and if believe, try to test him anyway.” Her mother’s advice always fell on her deaf ear but she could see now how much it was true. Whenever She thought Vivek actually never loved her and it was just an infatuation on the part of him, a simmering tickle shivered down her spine. She wanted to yell at him if she ever get a chance to meet him. She had left with her only her mother’s old decaying house and some archaic furniture.
It was sure She had to start a fresh if she wanted to live. That incident had changed Aruna completely. She now began to hate him, for not being there, for not hurting as much he could but most of all for her tiny baby boy that she held for just three hours before the doctor took him away. All through the following months, she had withdrawn from her husband, family, friends. Not wanting to recover from the pain she felt – that would have been a betrayal of her son.
Looking up in the past, Aruna can see her pain but now she doesn’t feel alone anymore, she has left the unbearable burden. In start it was quite difficult for her to detach herself form those memories. But she recovered from it anyway. She gradually begins to believe that maybe she has a lonely future, but she will make it strong and enjoyable. After all these things, She does not want any man in her life.
She does not want to shed her invaluable tears anymore, instead she wants to make all her dream come true that often sparks in her hazy eyes. Aruna closes the window as she closes past chapters in her life. Now she is embarking on a new life and that is hers and only hers.